I hate alarming our kids rooms.  It feels so inhumane, so jail-like, so “abnormal”. But as soon as M and L moved in, we “alarmed” their rooms, per the urging of our social worker.

We started with the kind you put on the door, that chime every time they open it.  Worked for awhile, till L figured out that if he slammed the door hard enough, the thing would fall off (we’re currently renting, so used double-sided tape instead of drilling holes in the door).  Eventually, after falling off enough times, the thing broke.

Then we got another type, a motion sensor.  But positioning it is tricky.  And eventually, L figured out a way to get past it!

Once L gets past the alarms, he goes nuts.  He starts with the food – he doesn’t necessarily eat a ton, he just opens a ton.  The other night, he must have destroyed $50 worth of groceries.  If he can’t get to the food, he plays with whatever he can get his hands on – one night, it was air freshener – he went through an entire can!  He’s been in our wallets and other valuables.

“Well, why don’t you just childproof the house?” you ask?  Its impossible.  There is no amount of child proofing that can stop this kid.  This is a kid who removed screws from wood, with his bare hands.  And besides, how do you childproof the TV?  The computers? The sofa pillows?

And just to make me even crazier, he’s been bragging about how “we can’t stop him.”

We talked to his psych, who changed his dosing and timing a bit to help him sleep through the night.  And he’s got to pay us back for all the groceries he destroyed by doing chores.

But last night, we doubled-up on the alarms.  I rigged the door alarm so he couldn’t slam it off (don’t know why I didn’t think of how to do that sooner!), and we’ve got the motion sensor in a different location.

Now here’s the interesting part – after spending the day, telling us how we can’t stop him, when we installed the alarms, L gave me a big hug and said “thank you mommy”.

!!!

He doesn’t WANT to be a bad kid.  Eventually, he will be able to control his impulses.  But for now, he needs our help.  And if having an alarm helps him to feel safe, and not make bad choices, then I’ll put up as many as he needs.

Love sometimes looks very different when you’re parenting a traumatized child.  But still, its love.