My husband rocks.  He is exactly the kind of man you want raising a little girl.  He’s masculine, yet sensitive.  He’s the leader of our family, but loves him a strong, intelligent woman.  Most important, he’s emotionally healthy, and sensitive to the needs of others.

And he adores his little girl.  She is truly his little princess.  But M… well, M has issues with men.  Justifiably.  No need to go into details, its just the reality of her past.

So its no real surprise that its taken her a long time to warm up to daddy.  And that she doesn’t let him kiss her cheek.

J, being the smart daddy that he is, doesn’t push it too hard.  And, he’s intuitive enough to know when to push just a little.  Hence, the conversation he and M had the other night.

J:  “So, when I try to kiss your cheek, does it make you think of your first Papa?”

M: “Yes, and when I think of him, I get mad at you.”

(pause)

M: “But daddy, you’re the greatest!”

That little conversation has so much packed into it.  Daddy’s attempt to reach out to his little girl.  M’s ability to realize how she was feeling.  And M’s recognition of her awesome daddy.

Little moments like these mean so much to our family.

Its been well documented here what a difficult time L has been having recently.  I started to wonder if it had anything to do with how many hours my husband had to put in at work recently, both with evenings and weekends, and if L was responding to that.

I don’t think its a coincidence that shortly after my husband’s (J’s) crazy hours stopped, L started to calm down.  Turns out, J has a huge affect on L’s well-being.

Now, the feminist in me kinda hates that.  “I should be enough!” my ego cries.  And I know of many single-parent, female-headed households that have raised boys with great success.

But… the fact is that L was hurt by his bio-dad.  And then spent a long period of time in a foster home with a very dominant – not in a good way – woman.  So its only natural that he would respond so strongly to J.  Especially since J is one of the most nurturing, kind hearted men I know.  When daddy’s around, L feels safe in a way he just can’t feel when daddy’s not around.

Now of course, our goal is for him to feel safe at all times, whether daddy has to work a lot or not.  But in the meantime, I can be grateful to have a husband who makes my son feel safe.  L deserves to feel safe.