I’m gonna warn you right now… I’m gonna be talking about poo.

That’s right, poo.

One of our kids has huge issues with it.  Now, in training, they mentioned that kids might have issues with controlling their bodily functions. But no amount of training would have prepared me for what we’ve had to deal with.

First, the poo is so huge, it actually clogs the toilet.  I’m not making that up.

Then, often, the stuff leaks out.  And when said child realizes that their underpants are poopy, one or all of the following happens:

• they immediately change underpants (good)
• then use a sock to clean themselves (huh?)
• then leave the underpants on the ground, or put them back in the undies drawer  (ew!)
• then throw the socks up into the top shelves of the closet (you have GOT to be kidding me!)

Can you imagine what living like this is like?  Constant plunging of a full toilet.  Regular hunts for poopy underpants (oh, and don’t forget the socks!).  Cleaning drawers and shelves were soiled items have landed.

Oh – and here’s what makes it extra fun.  My husband, who changed many poopy underpants in his day, cannot handle THIS poo.  It makes him throw up.  Totally involuntary bodily response of his.  Lucky me does not have such a response, so gets who gets to deal with all this fun?

So now, we’re working with our pediatrician to help make things “flow” better (i.e.  we’re having fun with laxatives) to reduce the size, and help the colon go back to a normal size.  Fun times.

But the pediatrician can only help with the first issue – they can’t help with the “how to deal with poopy pants” issue.  And believe me, this kid KNOWS what they are – and are NOT – supposed to do.  But they do it anyway, either out of instinct, rebellion or control.  Or maybe something else.

So when you’re going through your fost-adopt training, do NOT ignore what they’re telling you about this stuff.  Do NOT underestimate what its like to live through this.  While we love our kids, and are willing to put up with the crap – literally – you better make sure that you can handle the crap as well!

Lately, I’ve been exhausted.

“No duh,” you say, “you have three kids!”

True that.  But this is more so than usual.  As in, 9 hours of sleep doesn’t seem to be enough, midday naps don’t help.

I’m checking with my doctor, but I really think this is the emotional fallout of adopting two kids.  After all, I’ve been “on” for over a year now, with hardly any time to breathe.

In addition, my entire “demographic” has changed radically – four years ago, I was a single woman with two cats; today, I’m a married woman with three kids and a dog.

I supposed if I’m being honest, I originally thought I would just be “adding” kids to my existing self.  But the reality is, I’m different, from the inside out.

A friend of mine who has both given birth and adopted pointed out that when you’re pregnant, your body has nine months to adjust to the changes that are coming.  But when you adopt, your body has no warning – next thing it knows, its become a mom, and all hell has broken loose!

Does this sound crazy to you?  Maybe it is.  But I’ve found that very few things, if any, affect only the mind. Or the heart.  Or the soul.  Or the body.  We may try to pretend that only one part is affected, but the reality is they’re all tied together.

So I’m tired. Or rather, my body is trying to just catch up to the rest of my life.